Women’s Month Spotlight: Courtney

Learn to Suffer Well

By Courtney Jacobs

The title of this piece may initially suggest a negative or melancholy tone. So, what does the title “Learn to Suffer Well” mean exactly? I’m going to give you context in a minute, but first, I want to set the premise of this piece.

It’s written to give the reader hope. This writing reflects the “Then and Now”in a specific chapter of my life – a chapter I think I’m ready to face head-on. May this piece give you a sense of hope, the endurance to face life’s hardships and the comfort that only God himself can provide.

There are two specific Scriptures I’d like to share with you. The first is Isaiah 43:2-3: “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God.”

2023 started as one of my happiest years yet. I found out that I was pregnant, and it was an incredibly exciting time. I didn’t have a complicated pregnancy, and my baby loved to move in my belly. I used to joke a lot, saying that he would end up doing karate because of how often he kicked me! I had quite the laugh.

Feeling my baby move was always the highlight of my day. I was in awe of God’s creation inside of me and how He entrusted me to be a vessel for His creation.

I was 36 weeks pregnant. My belly was big, I was wobbling at this stage, and my feet were swollen – but I was happy. Until one day, as I waited for the highlight of my day to happen, it never did. There had been no movement whatsoever. Just like that, my 36-week journey came to an abrupt end. My world came crashing down as I heard the words no mother ever wishes to hear: “I’m sorry. There’s no heartbeat.”

I was in utter disbelief. I went completely quiet as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I was in the hospital for three days with my baby still in my belly, and on the third day, I gave birth to him. He was perfect. He was whole. He was my baby boy.

His name was Judah Jacob. In Hebrew, his name means “Praise” or “Thanksgiving”. After I gave birth to him, I held him in my arms while I sang worship songs to God. As broken as my heart was, I praised God and gave thanks to Him for blessing me with such a perfect baby boy.

After Judah’s funeral, I was utterly heartbroken – shattered, in fact. I wrestled with God, questioning why He took Judah away from me. I fell into a deep depression. I was a wreck, to say the least. No parent wants to bury their child.  

A year later, and just 10 days after Judah’s first anniversary in June, I was let go from my job of almost five years. So much had changed in such a short period, and it was all too overwhelming for me. Life didn’t stand still for me and my grief. I still had to be a present mother for my kids, I had to take them to school, help with homework, attend their sports matches, cook dinner – all while I was shattered.

I was suffering.

Now, it’s 2025. My son is in heaven, but he will always remain in my heart. I have a new job that I am grateful for. And most importantly, I have the peace of the Lord that surpasses all human understanding.

Was what happened to me tragic? Yes.

Is my life over? No!

God gives and He takes away. My life is not my own – it belongs to God.

And so, I’ve learned to suffer well over these past two years.

The second Scripture I want to share with you is Romans 8:18: “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

This Scripture means that no matter what we go through on this side of heaven, it does not compare to the eternal weight of glory that we will have one day when we’re in heaven.

The promise in this Scripture is that whether it happens in this life or the next, God’s glory will be revealed in us. So, hold onto that living hope – Jesus.

Long-suffering is also a fruit of the Spirit, one we tend to forget about, overlook, or don’t want to endure. Because, well, who wants to suffer?

But it’s one of the fruits of the Spirit I chose to embrace and harness, because Jesus suffered more than anyone who ever walked this earth. And if my Master suffered, so will I.

The fire I was engulfed by – hurt, broken-heartedness, depression, anxiety, sadness, suicidal thoughts, guilt, shame – none of it set me ablaze, for the Lord my God has always kept me.

If I look at Courtney then versus Courtney now, I am proud of her. Because what the Devil tried to break her with, God used to put her back together – with His love and faithfulness to her.

So, if you’re walking through deep pain, unimaginable loss, or a season where nothing makes sense, know this: you are not alone. God is with you in the fire. He is near the broken-hearted. You may be bent, but you are not broken.

Your story still matters. Your life still holds purpose.

And even though you may feel shattered – broken crayons still colour.